From the diary of Verna Haywood

Three words from spa marketing became a course, a book and a framework. Here is what Verna says it asks of a coach, and of a leader.

During the pandemic, three familiar words came back to Verna Haywood with, as she puts it, “a different sense of purpose.” Reflect. Revitalise. Renew. She had met them throughout her career in the marketing materials used to promote and sell spa treatments. Now she remembers thinking: “This is what I do. But how can I turn it into a course?”

Verna is the founder of The Unstoppable Life, where she guides women “to release who they had to be and rise into who they are called to become.” She spent more than 30 years working in the spa and wellness industry. Those three words are now the pillars of her Unstoppable Resilience framework, and the work behind it led to her book, Unstoppable Resilience: Heal, Rise & Reclaim Your Power.

The words themselves weren’t new. What changed, she says, is that “I began to understand them more deeply.”

In the Treatment Room

Verna holds a Bachelor of Science (Honours) degree in International Spa Management and spent four years working aboard cruise liners, “delivering high-quality treatments to an international clientele.” She also owned and operated La Vie Spa, which she relocated from Portland to a hotel in Evershot before the pandemic.

She describes the industry’s language this way: “The industry frequently spoke about nurturing the mind, body and spirit. Yet, in my experience, those promises sometimes didn’t match the reality of the treatment environment.” Treatments “could be rushed,” she says, and “I felt the wellbeing of both clients and therapists didn’t always get the attention it deserved.”

Her own aim, she says: “For me, it was never simply about providing a physical treatment. I wanted people to feel heard, respected and cared for.”

Then the pandemic disrupted the industry.

During the Pandemic

The disruption, she says, “gave me time to reflect on my experiences and consider how I wanted to work going forward.” She decided she no longer wanted to return to the traditional spa environment, and converted a spare bedroom into a private treatment room where she could “give clients more individual attention” and “listen to their concerns.” It also gave her “the flexibility to stay home and care for my husband while continuing work that mattered to me.”

It was also a hard season. On Mother’s Day, she says, “I broke down under the weight of what I myself had been through.” Around that time, “my spa had to close,” at a cost to her financially, physically and emotionally. She was not alone in that: the World Health Organization reported in March 2022 that global prevalence of anxiety and depression increased by 25% in the first year of the pandemic.

She doesn’t present that season as the single source of her work. “The pandemic became an important turning point,” she says, “but developing The Unstoppable Life and the Unstoppable Resilience Framework was a gradual process of reflection, learning, spiritual guidance, mentorship, and personal growth.”

She asked that the spiritual part be told.

How the Words Became a Course

As a woman of faith, she says, “I believe the Holy Spirit was guiding me during this period.”

“I began to see these words as more than marketing language. They could become practical principles to help people understand themselves, restore what had been depleted and rediscover their purpose.”

Verna Haywood, founder, The Unstoppable Life

Her spelling of “wholistic” is deliberate. It stresses caring for the whole person, body, mind and spirit, rather than using the language of holistic wellbeing “as a marketing promise.”

In the same period of reinvention she began learning new skills, including podcasting. She launched the podcast The Unstoppable Life with Verna Haywood in 2021 and spent time on Clubhouse, where she met Dr Cindy Garcia, “who subsequently became my coach.” Dr Cindy, Verna says, “played an important role in encouraging me to turn the ideas I had been developing into a structured course.”

Together they developed the early course around Unstoppable Resilience: Three Powerful Practices to Renew Your Body, Mind and Spirit. Over the years it evolved, and the principles “became the foundation of my Unstoppable Resilience Framework.” That work eventually led to her book and companion publications, including a workbook and two journals.

After the Diagnosis

Her professional reinvention, she says, “was already underway before my breast cancer diagnosis.” In July 2022, she was diagnosed with stage three, grade three, fast-growing breast cancer. After years of caring for others, she found herself “navigating the vulnerability, uncertainty and emotional impact of serious illness.”

The cancer, she says, “deepened my personal understanding of the very principles I had begun developing.” Looking back, she says, the framework “did not emerge from one single event.” She explains what came out of it through a tree.

Roots, Trunk, Branches, Fruit

The roots, she says, stand for Reflect: “examining our foundations, identity, beliefs and the experiences that have shaped us.” The trunk is Revitalise: “nourishing and strengthening ourselves, recognising what has been depleted, and attending to our wellbeing.” The branches and leaves are Renew: “embracing new possibilities, reconnecting with purpose and making room for growth.” The fruit is “what can emerge from that restoration, including the ability to contribute, serve, and make a difference in others’ lives.”

At the centre is resilience. The pillars are “not rigid stages that must be completed in a particular order,” she says. “They work together across body, mind and spirit.”

She has seen the framework meet a real life. Verna once supported a woman facing a serious and uncertain situation that could have had a major impact on her life and family. She was “frightened, angry and overwhelmed,” and Verna leaves out identifying details to protect her confidence.

At the Reflect stage the woman needed a safe place to say what she felt “without being judged or hurried towards an answer.” “There was a moment when I used my gift of singing to help ease the tension,” Verna says. “I could not promise what the outcome would be, but I could be present with her through the uncertainty.”

Revitalise began when the woman needed time to settle. “I learned not to rush in with solutions,” Verna says. Renew came as she found herself alongside others facing their own challenges, took encouragement from them and, in time, offered it back. “Her faith grew stronger.”

“The framework must serve the person. It taught me to meet someone where they are and make room for their body, mind, emotions and spirit.”

Verna, founder, The Unstoppable Life

She is just as plain about what it cannot do.

A Fair Challenge

The usual objection to resilience work is that it asks individuals to adapt while leaving the conditions that wore them down untouched. Verna doesn’t push back. “I think that is a fair challenge,” she says. “Resilience work should never suggest that people are responsible for the conditions that have hurt them, or that they simply need to become stronger and tolerate more.”

Some situations call for “boundaries, practical support, advocacy or help from other professionals.” The World Health Organization’s guidelines on mental health at work, published in September 2022, cover interventions for organisations as well as for individuals.

For her, “resilience is not about asking people to endure more.” Her framework “cannot change harmful conditions by itself, and it is not intended to make someone accept them.”

“Resilience should not become another demand placed on someone who is already carrying too much,” she says.

The other half of her message, she says, is “the hopeful side.” “Resilience is not simply about surviving adversity. It is also about recognising what needs restoring, reconnecting with who we are and discovering that new possibilities remain.”

The same attention to the other person runs through her advice to leaders.

Holding a Standard

Asked what judgement she would pass on to a leader who has to hold a standard while making room for someone who disagrees, Verna says: “be clear about the standard, and make sure the person still feels heard and respected.”

“Listening does not mean you have to agree, and disagreement does not have to become disrespect.”

Verna, founder, The Unstoppable Life

A leader, she says, can ask what is behind the other person’s perspective and consider whether it reveals something they may have missed. Then they can make a clear decision. If the standard remains, they should explain why and apply it fairly. “People may not always agree with the decision, but they should know they were listened to and treated with dignity.”

She points to a recent broadcast as an example of those values at work.

Where Verna Is Now

Her current work focuses on “coaching, speaking, education, writing and broadcasting.” She hosts a weekly television programme, The Unstoppable Life with Verna Haywood, on USA Global TV & Radio, and publishes a newsletter, The Unstoppable Life Letter.

Her 28 September broadcast, From “I and Me” to “Us and We”, “remains an important example of my work around listening, belonging, dignity and making room for different perspectives,” she says. Her 5 October programme, What Happens When Things Don’t Go to Plan?, explored adaptability, faith, resilience and how we respond “when circumstances unfold differently than we anticipated.” “In many ways, it became a practical demonstration of the very principles I teach,” she says. “The plan changed, but the purpose remained.”

Living on the Dorset coast gives her chances “to enjoy nature, take walks, and reflect.” Her faith is central to her life: “Prayer, God’s Word, and moments of stillness help me stay grounded, especially during demanding seasons.” She also values “being present for my husband and family.” “Over the years, I’ve learned that restoration is not only something we offer to others. We must also make room for it in our own lives.”

As she puts it: “What happened to us does not have to define what happens next.”

Five Reflections from Verna

What have you been carrying? Make room to understand it, and to reconnect with your truth and identity.

What needs restoring? Look honestly at what has been depleted, and care for it.

Which part of you is being left out? Body, mind and spirit are connected, so healing cannot focus on just one.

Does the person know they were heard? You can hold the standard and still leave them listened to and treated with dignity.

What new possibilities remain? Resilience includes discovering that they do.